Social Networking: Consequences and Common Sense

Somebody must care...right?

Social networking sites are running the world. For better or for worse, we are all connected.

This can range from talking trash about your parents, company, boss, friend, gf/bf or Lebron James (apparently he “never forgets”).

Everybody says “It’s a free country” or cite “Freedom of speech” as a viable reason to say something that may result in unwanted consequences.

YES, you do have the freedom to speak your mind. BUT, you are free to suffer the consequences/scrutiny stemming from your comment/action.

Considering how incredibly connected we are via internet, it is amazing how people do not show common sense in dealing with their emotions and human instincts.

I don’t blame you for hating your job or your boss. I don’t blame you for wanting to walk out on your company, leaving a huge log in the toilet. I don’t blame you for the frustration against your girlfriend that accidentally got naked and had sex with a coworker. There are so many reasons to be upset/frustrated/homicidal, and I hope people will be there to comfort you. Those people are your friends and family.

Publicly bashing your company or your boss puts you at risk. Just because you aren’t face to face with the person you can’t stand isn’t rationale for your emotional outburst. Sure, rip on an acquaintance (as juvenile as that is), there are no real consequences other than worrying about whether that person knows where you live. But to openly bash somebody that has the authority to hire you and fire you is plain idiotic.

Especially after news has surfaced that companies do research on you by accessing your Facebook account, how can you be sure that the security settings actually work? Furthermore, if you believe in six degrees of separation, this is a no-brainer. If you live in a relatively small community, somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody probably knows you and can access your Facebook. Why take this risk?

What’s scary is, there are so many ways for you to get screwed over by social networking sites. That picture of you taking a massive bong rip while playing the accordion with your toes may be hilarious, amazingly talented even. But it’s another reason why a company wouldn’t want to take the risk of hiring you.

You have both freedom of speech, and freedom to suffer consequences. More people need to understand this. Do you really want to be on FailBook?

Troubling Statistics and introducing the “Herbivore Man”

http://japantoday.com/category/kuchikomi-shukan-post/view/japans-young-generation-pursues-stability-over-promotion

Came across an interesting article on the hazy future of Japan. It all starts with the youth and that’s why articles like this are pretty depressing. Sadly, I’m not surprised with the results. Here are some paragraphs that stood out to me.

Among students from foreign institutions earning doctorates in the U.S., those from the elite University of Tokyo ranked 425th overall with 23. In first place was Beijing’s Tsinghua University, with 472 candidates. Chinese institutions accounted for three of the top 10.

Even with all the regulatory/governmental problems coming out of China, you can’t help but give the country some credit. They are at least trying to build a foundation of intelligent, pro-active youth. Meanwhile, consider the paragraph below.

Japanese are also showing signs of falling further behind in realm of global business as well. According to a survey by the Sanno Institute of Management, 49% of new company freshmen in 2010 said they had no desire to work abroad. The responses were 29.2% in 2001 and 28.7% in 2004, but began to rise sharply from 2007, when 36.2% said they wanted to remain in Japan.

It’s hard to globalize when you’re afraid to leave your comfort zone (Japan). So while countries like China, Korea, and Singapore want to expand, Japan is going back to its room to eat Funyans and play video games. Safe and convenient.

This next paragraph kills me.

The disregard for ambition, moreover, appears to apply equally for both males and females. A survey of males and females in their 20s to 40s, conducted by JTB Motivation, determined that the type of person least desired as a “lover,” was “a person driven by ambition, who is obsessed with gaining rank or promotion.” The response, voiced by 40%, was the highest among both genders.

First of all, “who is obsessed with gaining rank or promotion” is a skewed result/question. So what question were these people answering to? Whether they want an absentee husband who only works and is never home? Or if they want a motivated man with goals and passions who is dedicated to working toward higher rank/promotion in order to provide more for his family?

In the current Japanese family model, financial “stability” is easily overrun by family instability. Unsatisfied wives, messed-up kids, cheating husbands…these are “normal” by Japanese standards but they are damn good at sweeping it under the rug.

If in fact people least desired a “person driven by ambition” then this country is in worse shape than I thought. I assumed the “driven by ambition” was a trait that was globally accepted as being something that most women want in a man.

Then again, the growing trend of “herbivore” Japanese males and the women who prefer them is utterly ridiculous.

Related but unrelated story: A friend of mine in his fifties recently went to a UNIQLO shop to buy a flannel shirt. The shop worker told him that it is very popular among “herbivore” men. He told the worker that he changed his mind and won’t buy it then.

The herbivore man is a (not much) meat eating homo-sapien that often wears v-neck t-shirts to show off their visible sternums. They often anime-spike their hair and wear make-up by choice. They don’t actively pursue their dreams, much less women.

How can women feel protected by these things? Would you use a stationary, Styrofoam, life-size Chia-pet for protection? I wouldn’t either.

“I was surprised to see a male student who came to a recruiting interview accompanied by a parent,” a personnel manager at a logistics firm tells Shukan Post. “I don’t think someone so attached to his parents can be expected to do good work. He didn’t get the job.”

Mother’s tend to “enable” their children to be weak and reliant on others. This could be because the samurai fathers work 14 hour days and offer no support for the wife. Could be that the mother has no life other than taking care of the kids and house that it’s a product of her loneliness. Or all of the above.

Regardless, parents should feel societal pressure to make their son’s live on their own. When you live at home with almost no financial responsibility for the first twenty-two years of your life, you will be much further down on the manliness curve. Parents need to accelerate this transition or it will be too late.

Sadly, there are many 22-40 year olds still living at home. Again, safe and convenient.

Human resources training consultant Naomi Hashimoto also expressed concern over the attitudes shown by members of the younger generation.

“A lot of these ‘laid-back company employees’ in their 20s seem to lack common sense,” she says. “New hirees at a regional bank didn’t even know how to pour tea. And as members of the cell phone generation, they have trouble responding to telephone calls from people they don’t know.”

This has got to be a parental problem right? Regardless of the change in society and technology, you can be taught the basics to communication. I lived in the U.S.A. and I learned proper Japanese speaking etiquette and manners. Japanese society hinges on proper etiquette, manner and respecting your elders (even if they are a few months older than you). If this trend gains momentum, who knows what kind of country Japan may end up like. Korea? China? The two countries that Japanese people swear are filled with the most rude, inconsiderate people in Asia. Time to look in the mirror my friends!

Seems to me like there is a serious lack of role models in Japan. With all of the “talents”, movie-stars and comedians saturating Japan’s airwaves, young people rarely have a chance to see international success stories. There has to be something visual for Japanese people to respond to.

There is some good news though. Companies like Rakuten and UNIQLO are becoming very strict with their hiring policies. English proficiency is now REQUIRED. If people can feel more pressured to seriously study English (or other languages) it will change the landscape of Japanese society. It’s not too late!

Being Bi-lingual/Bi-Cultural/Mixed Blooded, it’s probably not in my blood to take the safe route. I feel like I would feel a lack of fulfillment somewhere down the road.

I took a chance coming to Japan after High School in the first place and I am unbelievable happy that I did.

Leaving the comfort of your own home, leaving your family, having to work and provide for yourself is a life changer. It changes your priorities and forces you to become independent and responsible. Most of us need to be forced to be responsible at some point of our lives, I know I did.

Add in that you are in a foreign country and everything gets amplified. Is it scary? Yes. Is it easy? No. Is going through it an awesome experience? Hell yes.

The Japanese youth don’t seem to take the awesomeness factor into consideration.

Copyright © Ry Sullivan 2010

New Tackling Rules in the NFL: Watered Down Action?

I’ve played football most of my life. Granted, it hasn’t been at any level near the NCAA or NFL but I know how it feels to hit somebody.

The game of American Football is violent. Parents know this when they let their kids suit up in those heavy pads and helmet. Many parents won’t let their kids play because they are afraid of injury.

Bottom line is, you are very aware of the danger you will subject yourself to.

The story this week around the NFL has been about illegal hits, clearly overshadowing the games themselves. Is this what the league wants to highlight during the season?

Where can you determine when a hit is illegal or legal?

To me, an illegal hit is what the Broncos used to do during their glory days with John Elway. And that is cutting down the backside of sweeps and pitch plays. Unsuspecting lineman and linebackers getting cut at the knees is one of the most dangerous plays that can happen.

But now the league is trying to enforce human reaction. This week, James Harrison of the Steelers knocked out 2 Browns players during the course of the game. The hit on Massoquoi (Wide Receiver) got the brunt of the attention because the NFL claimed Harrison intentionally led with his helmet. Looking at the replays, there is no definitive proof that he purposely led with his head. He was reacting to a receiver running toward him after catching a football. After gaining possession of the ball, Massaquoi looked as if to brace for the hit, lowering his head in the process. Harrison went in for the hit and by chance, his head made contact with Massaquoi’s. Massoquoi was sprawled out on the grass, being diagnosed with a concussion soon after.

The rules have changed enough in the past few years to protect offensive players and I agree that injuries are not good for the game. But life has gotten increasingly difficult for defensive players to make an impact on the game.

Imagine being a 2nd string safety on an NFL team, making the league minimum. A receiver is coming across the middle and you have a perfect angle to destroy him and possibly jar the ball loose. There is also a good chance you’ll make contact with your helmet. You now have 2 options:

1. Destroy him, let your teammates know you have no fear and that you deserve a place on the team.

2. Try to tackle him at the waist and sacrifice a great angle and tackle timing. You either make an uninspiring tackle or you miss it and you look a step too slow for the league.

Now tell me which course of action you would take.

The situation above may be a biased way of looking at a broader subject, but I just believe the NFL can only control so many things.

I haven’t even touched on the NFL exploiting the players by selling DVD’s and pictures of big hits. Hypocrisy anybody?

Grow a Pair and Be Happy

Loneliness is dangerous.

It’s one of those emotions that can bring the worst out in a human being. This is classic human nature and furious prioritizing ensues.

Various circumstances and situations force us to prioritize in different ways. For example: When we are bored/lonely, our priorities become much simpler (I don’t care who I meet, I just want to hang out with somebody). This often leads to people lowering their standards simply to curb boredom.

However, simple is not always best in some cases.

Let’s go over a few things Loneliness can do to a person:

-          Get fat.

-          Get lazy.

-          Become needy.

-          Become bitter.

-          Makes you over-think…everything.

There aren’t a whole lot of positives here.

Yes, some of you may say that people can take advantage of these times to study/read/self-reflect. In a perfect world, this is of course entirely possible.

But let’s be real.

I’m going to focus on how Loneliness and the people around you can contribute to people diving into/staying in, volatile, damaging personal relationships.

Recently, I’ve noticed many people around me that don’t have the stones to ACTUALLY break up.

There are so many couples around me that have been together and have reached a point where change is not an option.

This is totally normal. I, personally, have a strange habit of waking up and not having the feelings I once had for a significant other. Whether that’s MY fault/problem or not, I don’t know yet. Could very well be we simply don’t mesh well, who knows. But the sad truth is, sometimes you get sick of each other or sometimes you look at the other person and realize there just isn’t any attraction anymore.

OR you realize that you would be much happier without that particular person.

The latter is easily the best reason for somebody to consider breaking up with somebody, but we become an exception to the rule. “We are the couple to fight through the bad times and prevail!”

The debate as to what is the best time/reason to break up can go on forever.

I am just annoyed with people who SHOULD break up, CAN’T break up…especially for people like me who seem to be the emotional tampon for a friend/acquaintance. It is unbelievably frustrating to know that a particular couple really should not be dating any longer, only to realize later on that that person already had an agenda of what he/she wanted to hear in the first place!

So when you told that person your true opinion, they acted like they were going to take your advice but didn’t want to/didn’t have the balls(or ovaries) to follow through.

Focus on creating happiness for yourself, not trying to make gold out of garbage.

Loneliness

We’ve been through this. Loneliness will make you over-think almost any situation. It’s generally a negative manifestation that drives you crazy.

This has to be one of the reasons damaging relationships still stay intact. At some point in a person’s prioritizing sequence, they realize that they would rather go through the usual BS and psychological ache of a volatile relationship, than have to get over it on their own.

Major rationalization ensues and now you have a person that seeks advice from people that they think will agree with them. Most of these “relationships” end badly and would have benefited from an earlier break-up.

Happy Endings

Sad stories far outweigh the happy endings in my experience, but I have seen a few work out. I wouldn’t go as far to say it’s a happy ending though…yet.

I know a couple who was on the cusp of breaking up, but with pleading and reasoning, the breakup never happened. I shook my head after hearing this, assuming that this was another one of those burning molasses type of relationships: never-ending, the pain never subsiding.

But as of now, communication lines have been re-built and there is a sense of progress that didn’t exist before. Progress and future are what build great relationships. The problem with people lately, is that NOW is more important than BUILDING. As a young adult, NOW is great. But the greatness can only go so far until you start to experience pain that will last into the future, people really need to re-prioritize based on their situation.

I don’t mean to get up on my high horse and preach about something that takes many years to learn. My observations lead me to come to certain conclusions and form certain opinions that I plan on trying to follow myself! We all know that following your own advice is very difficult because being as self-serving as we are, it’s only natural to think we are the exception to a rule…even if it’s our own rule.

Sex keeping people together is a discussion for another day…

My main point is, people need to start contributing to their own happiness by overriding emotional decisions and making logical ones. Easier said than done I know. But hey, being happy later is so much more ridiculously better than burning out your happiness now, I think we can all agree to that =)

“Global Babying” and Why It’s Good to Feel Humiliated

This article might sound like a rant…because it is. After hearing and reading about all of these new policies around the world that are aimed at “Protecting” our youth, I can’t help but worry that we are breeding mentally weak children. We see so many “physical specimen freaks of nature” but we also see those big hunks of potential go down in flames because of mental weakness or primadonna personalities.

Sometimes the past is the past, but in times like these, we need to revert to some old school tactics.

“Global Babying” is a phenomenon that is infecting our earth. Its can also be interpreted as what George Carlin likes to call, “The P*&^ification” of our beloved youth.

From the time we are born, we are subject to all kinds of hardships and challenges. In school we encounter bullying, tough teachers and the occasional pants soiling. On many occasions the phrase “Life isn’t fair” is pounded into our brains to the point where we are resigned to the fact that we can only keep moving forward when something unjust happens to us. This is a good thing.

The world is now keeping our children “safe” by rebuilding parks without jungle gyms, monkey bars and slides. “Safety” is diluting childhood experiences. Most people can say they’ve done something extraordinarily stupid when they were little, and as a result, got in trouble or almost seriously injured themselves. Now if a kid falls on pavement and cuts his knee, the school board might vote on renovating all campus grounds to Field Turf (Grass Turf). How far will “protecting” our youth go?

Your dad or big brother may dominate you in basketball and back you down knowing you got nothing on him in the paint, you do your best to stop him but you can’t. You get angry, you cry and moan. Isn’t this what we all have to go through? We all look back at these memories and laugh about them later on in life anyways. These lessons are designed to show you how far you have to go to be competitive.

When I was playing Pop Warner football, there was a game where I missed almost all the tackles I attempted. My dad didn’t see them as “attempts”, he saw a kid that was scared to hit somebody. On the ride home, my dad didn’t say a word to me. As soon as we entered the drive-way, he told me to put my pads on.

We walked into my yard.

I stood there, full equipment and uniform waiting for what was going to happen next. My dad cradled the ball and looked at me.

“Tackle me, and don’t hold back. You can’t be scared to hit somebody.”

He started jogging lightly to the side while I was still in shock from his request. I had my helmet and shoulder pads on…what if I hurt him? Well that was the point.

So over and over again my dad would carry the ball and make me tackle him. With tears running down my eyes, I kept sticking my helmet, full-throttle, into his shoulder, arm and thighs.

By the end of the session, my dad is limping and I’m exhausted.

This episode is nothing compared to some parents. If you read Ichiro’s book, you’ll realize what “tough love” really is. But the point is, episodes like this were what taught me those valuable life lessons, one of which is not to accept mediocrity.

According to some new policies enacted around America, the interaction with my dad may have gone like this:

“Its okay buddy, you missed all your tackles but you had really nice form, just go get em’ next time!”

Sure, positive reinforcement may be very important to a child in certain situations but kids also need to feel like garbage, meaning they need to look at themselves and realize, “Man…I suck. I need to get better.”

This evokes resiliency, the most important trait a human can have. When you know you can get back up and keep working at something, you will not fear failure.

Unfortunately, fearing failure is exactly what is being taught to our youth.

Everybody Wins!

I just turned 24 in March and I’ve competitively played any sport I could get my hands on since I could walk.

This is why reading about the Ottawa Kids Soccer League made me lose faith in our country even more:

“A team that wins a soccer game by more than five goals will be declared the loser in an Ottawa children’s recreational soccer league.”

“The league recommends that players on the team with the higher score can play short-handed, kick with their weaker foot or play positions that they have less experience playing to even out the score.”
Read more: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/ottawa/story/2010/05/31/ottawa-gloucester-dragons-soccer-point.html#ixzz0qDoDMFq1

After reading this, I realized that I can finally use the phrase “Back when I played ball…(explain hardship/unfair scenario/weather conditions)” without sounding like an idiot.

We are starting to get into dangerous territory here. Since I was a young kid, I had gotten my share of “participatory trophies.” You know, the hardware you get for paying the money to participate!

I have a few “participatory trophies” and a bunch of hard-earned ones as well. The trophies I’ve earned hold much more weight in my personal legacy than the free trophies. Why? Because I earned them with blood, sweat and tears. They actually mean something.

Slaughter rule anybody?

I have been on both sides of the competitive spectrum. The big winner and the even bigger loser.

Having played football my whole life, I have been a part of some powerful teams. My high school varsity football team almost went undefeated during the regular season and we went to the state quarterfinals.

College was a different story. As is written on my blog, I got a scholarship to play football in Japan at an up and coming University. As a Division II team, we dominated. Winning games by scores like 72-0. When we bumped up to Division I, it was a different(hilarious) story.

Against the reigning college champion, Hosei University, we lost 124-0. If there needed to be a slaughter rule, it was during this game.

Now this would be HUGE news in the states. Coaches demanding the necks of the opposing coach, reprimands from the University…an outrage against a program with no class!

The Japanese didn’t blink an eye.

In fact, people thought it was hilarious.

No Mercy in Japan

Again we come to a cultural crossroads.

In the states, sportsmanship entails respect and integrity. In other words, not humiliating the opposing team and their coach.

In Japan, you are showing disrespect to the other team and coach by HOLDING BACK. On a few occasions, our team was used as practice dummies for the no-huddle offense of the other team…during the 2^nd quarter!

This is what American parents and officials need to instill into their youth, if you feel disrespected, DON’T LET THEM SCORE!

You know what I felt when we got blown out?

This is humiliating…never again.

A few games later, we got blown out 113-7. As ridiculous as this sounds, there was an improvement there.

Wouldn’t you feel worse if a team was up a few scores on you and was forced to just go through the motions and let you back in the game?!?! Or if it was soccer, the other team just passes back and forth so you can’t do anything. If anything, THIS may be a lack of sportsmanship.

Cultures Collide

I had the pleasure of being part of the staff for the Under 19 U.S.A. National Team vs. Japan National Team Football Game.

To be fair, U.S.A. had certain regulations required for participation. You needed a certain GPA and a pretty large sum of money to make the trip overseas. This severely limited the U.S.A. roster as you would imagine.

Japan had no such policies to abide by so the best of the best were in action.

The game was back and forth for a while until Japan started pulling away late in the second half.

Up by 2 scores, Japan was in a comfortable position to run out the clock and win.

But that is not what Japanese culture advocates.

Japan proceeded to pass the ball and actually work to putting more points on the board.

To this, the U.S.A. coaches were furious. The sidelines were now filled with frustration and expletives. I didn’t blame them, they knew nothing about competitive culture in Japan. They had always been taught that showing mercy after a certain extent, displayed sportsmanship.

In reality, Japan was showing their own version of sportsmanship by showing no mercy.

This is nothing more than a culture clash. Both sides, essentially, were doing what is deemed “correct”. Had the result been the opposite, Japan may have been upset with U.S.A. for showing them up by not going all out.

This was fascinating to me.

Mercy is hard to define. If I’m playing basketball in the backyard against middle-schoolers, then yes I will show some mercy.

But when the other team is trying to kill me and I’m trying to kill them, there is no room for mercy. Nobody is happy when somebody is letting you win, therefore, you shouldn’t be happy that a team is “taking it easy” on you. Both have different results, but both should evoke the same emotion: I feel humiliated.

Here’s an idea: LET THE KIDS PLAY.

Parents are way too involved in their kids sport as it is, if the ref makes a bad call against your kid, yes you have a right to be annoyed and lightly protest. But for those fathers who run on to the field to confront a coach or ref…shut up and sit-down! The result will not change and your son will feel humiliated by YOU.

Children need the skills to problem solve on their own and make decisions. Sports provide various situations to do so without parental help. If you want to help or comfort, do it AFTER the game. Your kids will thank you later.

Interesting News Items and a Visual Mini-Tour of Japan

Interesting News

Some hilarious news items that have caught my eye:

1. Home-run hero on the Angels breaks his leg after celebration trot.

Kendry Morales of the Angels’ hits a walk-off grand slam. In giddy jubilation he rounds the bases and as is the tradition for walk-off homers in the MLB, the dugout runs out and waits for the hero to come around and step on homeplate. Morales threw his helmet and leaped in the air to put resounding closure on an epic moment in his life…only to come down awkwardly on his ankle and BREAK HIS LEG! Watch it here.

Check the story here

*This story also induced the nostalgia of Bill Gramatica, the kicker for the Arizona Cardinals, who kicked a meaningless field-goal in the 1st quarter of a game and proceeded to celebrate like he won a world-cup game…only to tear his ACL because of an awkward landing.

Check that story and a few other hilarious sports injuries here.

2. Delonte West is sleeping with Lebron James’ mom.

Of course, this isn’t officially confirmed by Lebron, nor West, but why would anybody make this up? If there was any excuse for the Cavs’ play in the playoffs this year, its that Lebron knew about what his mom was up to.

3. Indonesia bans “tight pants”.

According to Yahoo.com,

“During raids Thursday, Islamic police caught 18 women traveling on motorbikes who were wearing traditional headscarves but were also dressed in jeans. Each woman was given a long skirt and her pants were confiscated. They were released from police custody after giving their identities and receiving advice from Islamic preachers.”

Not sure “raids” is the correct word here. I will respect the religion/law here, but these women may not be wearing jeans to show anything off. Maybe it’s just to PROTECT THEIR LEGS.

Common Sense: When leaving the house, knowing you’ll be on a motorbike to your destination, do you wear jeans or a long skirt?

The potential for something bad to happen multiplies when you wear fluffy/flappy/long/flowing garments.

AT LEAST let them wear jeans on the bike.

Oh, and what do they do with the confiscated pants?

——————————————————————————————————————————————-

Akihabara: An area with a combination of electronics, anime freaks and great curry.

These people take their Anime very seriously…

But will your girlfriend take you seriously?

But what if you take her here…

Mmm...gorilla curry

I’ve seen this while walking, but I’ve also seen solid reviews on the internet. I read that there’s a branch in New York as well so I had to try this fabled gorilla curry.

I was expecting a pricey lunch(1000 yen or more) but upon arrival I was pleasantly surprised that the average dish was about 600 yen.

I looked through the menu and found the 2,500 yen World Championship Class Major Curry. This massive dish sports 2 breaded chicken breasts, 3 sausages, 2 fried prawns and a mountain of shredded cabbage on top of a mound of rice.

I couldn’t find the stones to dent my wallet, not to mention I would have been K.I.A. for the rest of the day. Wasn’t going to risk it.

So I went for the 600 yen “Healthy Class” Katsu Curry.

It was more than enough...

Review: It was amazing and you need to try it.

Odaiba

You ever come across titty and think…wow?

Guy: You know, we should name a store after what we all love...

After being in Japan for over 5 years, you start to get used to these things. I used to point and laugh. Now I just shake my head.

Sending A Message

Thankfully, smoking is at an all-time low for many countries around the world.

According to aolhealth.com, Japan is 13th in the world for the most cigarette consumption. Reports indicate that smoking has gone down in the last 10 years, mostly by males. Cigarette consumption by females has actually increased from 2006-2007.

Why has male cigarette usage decreased while female usage has increased?

Might be a topic for another day, but I’m willing to guess it has something to do with bored, stressed housewives. To be fair though, the amount of women who are career oriented have increased. So is it work-related stress? Or absentee-husband related stress?

So I came across this advertisement the other day. There have been many parts of Japan that have issued bans on Smoking in establishments and it seems as though the government is being proactive in discouraging cigarette consumption…

Mr.....Clean?!

The Japanese reads,

So,

How do you like this (amazing) flavor?

It is now here in Japan.

Let’s go over the marketing technique here.

1. Bald white guy in a wife beater.

2. Puffing on a cigarette while flexing his biceps.

Now what could the message be?

a. Even ripped guys in America smoke cigarettes.

b. This is a new flavor of cigarettes that even physically fit people like.

It seems like people would think of more elaborate marketing messages. Some marketing director somewhere in America presented this idea. Somebody said, “yes, go with it.” Then somebody in Japan said, “yes, this will work in Japan.”

How did that happen? The whole American Cowboy image is better than Mr. Clean smoking a heater.

Hopefully people will agree that the ad is ridiculous. Or it might spark an underground, Winston smoking, bald, white, ripped guy cult following….

Dating and Relationships? Start meeting people first.

「“出会いがないんだよね～”
“I can’t seem to meet new people…”」

You ever meet people who say, “I’m tired” ALL the time, regardless of whether they are really tired or not?

This is pretty much the same thing, to me at least.

People in Japan make it seem like there is a shortage of talent in a country where the population per area easily outnumbers most countries.

So what’s the problem here?

It could be that these guys who are getting shut-down all the time are rationalizing their situation by blaming it on an entire country.

It could be that they suck at meeting people. This sounds silly but it’s actually an art to create connections and make friends. Depending on your personality, creating a base of friends and acquaintances around you may be really easy or really difficult.

To me, there are 4 things to consider:

1. Quantity and Quality.

Acquaintances/connections: Quantity

You may know lots of people who know a lot of people that can introduce you to many people who are looking to hire. You may know people with hot friends who likes guys with back hair and over-developed pectorals…you just never know, but the more people you meet, the chances grow of meeting your dream partner.

Dating: Quantity

You date many women from different parts of the world who give you a variety of perspectives on life and provide you with the necessary experience you need to make a quality decision to get married later in life. (At least that’s the formula)

Say you have a habit of getting screwed over. There is only so much a man can take. So you get screwed over twenty times but every time you start waking up to the realization that you are going crazy with unreasonably psychotic women.

Note to self: Stay away from women who say, “I love you so much I want to kill you sometimes”

Friends: Quality

I know people with lots of “friends” who get double-crossed and stabbed in the back by lots of their friends. At a certain point in life you realize who your real friends are, those are the relationships that keep you afloat when you’re going down, and keep you grounded when you get too high.

Example: Make sure you don’t have a buddy who runs away in the middle of a brawl, only to show up after the fight and say, “Yo, I went to get the cops but I couldn’t find any!”

Marriage/long term relationships: Quality

You better be prepared to love this person FOREVER. Obviously, Quality will forever trump Quantity in marriage (See Larry King). If you just can’t settle down, don’t get married (See Tiger Woods). If you know you don’t want to get married, do what you feel will keep you happy (See Hugh Hefner).

This is not only a commitment of time (FOREVER), but also one that involves money and livelihood. If you don’t make a good decision here, say goodbye to half your funds…or seven-halves if you’re Larry King.

2. Don’t be THAT guy.

From a Chris Rock stand-up routine,

“You ever have that friend who goes to the club and asks a girl to dance?

Guy: Hey would you like to dance?
Girl: No, not right now.

Guy: “MAN THESE BITCHES ARE STUCK UP, LET’S GO TO A TITTY BAR!”

This is the same guy who goes to Pink Salons (Oral Sex booths) littered around Tokyo for 5,000yen a pop because he thinks its Mendokusai (Pain in the ass) to actually meet women.

Your run-of-the-mill brothel

3. Do something different.

Going to the same nomikai’s (Drinking get-togethers) with the same co-workers at the same place every weekend will force you to go through the same routine with the same women. Not only is this boring and repetitive, but women in the venue start noticing that you are there with your homeboys EVERY WEEKEND. If you are just out for fun with your buddy’s this isn’t a problem. It’s a problem if you’re wondering why people are avoiding you on facebook.

Try going to a cooking class, rock-climbing, art exhibit. Cater to the kind of people you want to meet. This way you are broadening your horizons as opposed to settling for the same meat & potatoes every weekend and praying that a filet mignon appears.

woooooo!!

Obviously, wanting to meet sophisticated women at a dance club famous for letting underage women in is not a good idea.

Like hippy/new age women? Go to a hemp festival. Want a career focused woman? Go to a job fair.

Now go and meet people!

4. Make connections.

Don’t go to functions for the sole purpose of bagging women. Don’t limit yourself with lofty goals and chances of failure. Go with an open mind about meeting people you can connect with and have a good time in the process.

This to me is the most important aspect of broadening your social life.

The more connections you make, the more connected you will become with their connections. Now, you are multiplying the people you know by hundreds in a short amount of time.

It’s amazing that people result to pouting and complaining about not being able to meet people. Meeting people should be the easy part.

Japanese men in general have something ingrained into their psyche that does not allow them to have female friends. There is almost always an agenda. These are the same people that spread rumors and C-Block social people by telling everybody that you are some kind of player who shamelessly exploits women. Funny that it’s the rumor-spreaders who aren’t getting any play whatsoever.

You don’t need to smash every girl you see. You don’t have to ignore every girl that isn’t your type. All you’re doing is limiting yourself.

Be a friend. Help people out and expect nothing in return. Introduce people to people you know. Create the web and be the guy who controls it.

A Tribute to Nujabes

On February 26th, underground Hip-Hop Producer “Nujabes” was killed in a car-crash in Tokyo.

My musical relationship with Nujabes started about 5 years ago when I was listening to random CD’s at Tower Records in Shibuya. Being a huge fan of The Roots, in conjunction with Japan’s love of the Jazz Fusion genre, I was at the peak of my Jazz-Hip-Hop hunger.

This is when I came across a colorful little CD jacket that said Modal Soul on it.

I took one listen and I was sold.

Generally, a CD costs about 1,500yen ($15) but this one cost 3,000yen ($30). I’m not cheap, but I don’t drop that kind of money of music…I did.

Many of Nujabes’s songs have been on repeat ever since. From hip-hop collaborations to ambiance tracks, the music really tells the tale of a versatile producer/DJ. Jun Seba (Nujabes spelled backwards)  is his real name and he was not much of a public figure. Fitting that rumors of his death came AFTER he actually died.

Point is, I had never been obsessed with such an enigma of an underground producer. For some reason, that personalized my love for his music even more.

The only thing I can hope for post Nujabes, is that he had an assistant/next-of-genius to carry one where he left off. This way, death can be just a minuscule hiccup in his legacy, not just a Picasso-effect.

There has been a lot of websites/facebook groups/fan pages that have paid homage to the late Nujabes. Many of which I have joined.

My brother, Grady Sullivan, wrote a piece that gives proper closure on the tragic event but succeeds in capturing the beauty of, in my opinion, a revolution of musical genre.

Those of you who want to connect directly with Grady can find him here

The original Link to Grady’s work is right here

Without further ado here is Grady Sullivan’s Tribute To Nujabes,

I can hear the Voice of Autumn, and the Sky is Fallin’,
The element of sound is fallen, music is bawlin’,
I’m Luv Sic in three parts–from the chill and cold–
In the mind, the heart, and the Modal Soul.

Another Feather falls down, this shit is Deeper Than Words,
But you’re a different kind of feather from a different kind of bird,
As you exit the Horizon, I’ll just say Thank You,
‘Cause with music like yours, there’s never a Final View,
And your Beat Laments the World, but the world laments its loss,
You’re Beyond the Sea of Cloud and we respectfully applause,
Now go on, you left your art, the greatest gift,
Precious… No one’ll ever let it drift.

On this Silver Morning it’s pouring
The jazzy hip-hop genre is storming
In every room and car and mind and heart,
We ain’t mourning but we hate to see you depart.
February 26th, twenty-ten,
The day the truth of music dropped its pen.
February 26th, twenty-ten,
Nujabes… Get back at it in Ninth Heaven.

[Chorus]
There Ain’t No Happy Endings but
(We’re Still Talking to You)
And we’re Counting Stars and sending thoughts,
(We’re Still Talking to You)
In the Light of the Land, there’s No Way Back,
(We’re Still Talking to You)
And just like that, we can’t Just Forget,
(We’ll always be talking to you)

In A Day by Atmosphere Supreme,
We were able to hear, able to see,
That hip-hop was not quite what it could be,
As it sang the World’s End Rhapsody.
And you never could be the Ordinary Joe,
Tryina’ keep up with the ever-common mainstream flow,
But instead you’d build your own Eclipse,
Drawing the ears up to a Latitude of bliss.

If I Had a Day to Live, I’d be your mic,
And If I Was Your Mic, then you could say what you’d like,
Though you never said much, in your World Without Words,
And you still gave us something we’ve never heard,
So in 400 Years, we’ll still be shedding tears
On the day the truth of music left our ears,
Jun, enjoy your Next View as you
Inspire… It’s just what you do.

[Chorus]

On the ground seeming infertile, you set your Reflection Eternal,
Blessing It with everything, a holy inferno,
With Flowers that tower from the Highs 2 Lows,
You made sure, in the hearts, to be the F.I.L.O.*
[x2]

Sincerely,
Your Unknown Fans.

*Note: F.I.L.O. = “First In, Last Out.”

Rest In Peace, Nujabes.

Copyright Grady Sullivan aka Philosophy
March 2010

An Interesting Psych Test and Pandas

I know it’s been a long hiatus (for those that have noticed) but I’ll be updating more often so stay tuned!
First off…I posted a picture in an earlier entry of some Placenta product that I thought was hilarious. Unfortunately (fortunately for satire), they take this Placenta stuff very seriously.

Placenta for the whole family!

I came across a psyche test a few years ago that turned out to be something I love doing on people. You guys that find it hard to keep conversation with a woman, try this out, it’s really simple AND it makes HER talk instead of you making a fool out of yourself by naming off anime characters that you think would be pretty hot in real life.  It goes like this.

Name 3 things you expect/want in a significant other:

1.

2.

3.

These three things can literally be anything from “great personality” to “nice calves” to “somebody who can sing along to Backstreet Boys but not to N’Sync.”(real example)

Now think about those 3 things.

Now give me a 4^th trait that you want/expect.

According to the test, your 4^th trait has the most weight in your decision-making process.

What do you think? What is your 4^th trait?

MY 4^th trait?

Answer: Nice Teeth.

When I first said this, I was badgered by the women around me. They told me how shallow I was. I was the reason that women couldn’t find any decent men anymore. I was genuinely disappointed with myself, maybe I am a cold shallow man…five-thousand dollars (in Japan) IS a lot of money for sticking metal on your teeth…

But no, I wasn’t raised shallow. There had to be a reason I had such a shallow answer.

Before I get into my explanation for why my answer was actually a great representation of how my progression with women are, let’s go over some answers I’ve heard that deserve some more scrutiny.

1. A girl that can cook.

At this, women tend to nod their head and smile. WHY?! In the end, isn’t this just an example of male chauvinism? Is it really that different from somebody saying, “A girl that is good at washing dishes and ironing clothes?”

But there is a historical explanation for this. Throughout history, women have been coached to be loyal servants to the samurai-men of Japan. The man hunts and gathers, the woman take care of the house…and stands by her man, even if he’s an asshole or kills people for fun.

Many western women scoff at this notion. Many Japanese women admire women who can get through the worst times with their spouse and still support him. Whether you think this is good or bad, it’s just a product of culture and society. Obviously this has changed recently. Individualism and being a “career woman” has become a new “cool” trend in Japan. But STILL, little crumbs from the past are still embedded in the minds of man women.

Don’t get me wrong, being able to cook is great. This is one of those added traits that adds to the happiness. Not necessarily one that makes or breaks an interaction.

Is it that much of a better answer than “nice teeth?”

1. White Skin

Women agree with this answer also. Why? Because the general population of Japanese women have been taught that milky white skin is an image of innocence and virginity. That being dark-skinned is considered a negative in terms of physical attributes. There is even a difference in tone when speaking about skin-color.

Western Philosophy: She has a nice tan.

Japanese Philosophy: She’s dark.

My “nice teeth” answer sounds like a meaningless and materialistic answer, but in reality it’s the basis for what leads up to the other answers I mentioned above.

“Nice Teeth”

Let’s start from zero.

When a person looks at another person you first take into account that persons physical features and you act accordingly. It’s the most basic of human interaction. This is why even the best looking men melt under pressure when meeting a beautiful woman or why you would assume a girl with a Gucci bag might be good at manipulating men…or maybe that’s just me.

So when I look at somebody of the opposite sex, I tend to look at the person’s teeth. Probably because it’s the first thing I really get to see when they smile during the introduction (unless she doesn’t smile…which might be a glimpse into her personality anyways).

A smile with nice, straight teeth puts my guard down for some reason and I can just relax.

^^ Although it does have some truth, that is my politically correct answer.

The real answer is when I ask myself the question, “How would it feel to make out with this girl?”

The teeth are a deal-breaker here….which is pretty much a deal-breaker for everything that follows: If I don’t want to kiss this girl in the first place, then I don’t want to do anything else, much less sex and dating.

So it turns out, teeth may not be 100% of all my decisions, but it is in my top 3 for deal-breakers.

So for all of you men and women who scowl at my answer for what is the most important trait that I expect in a woman, take a look at your answer and trace it back to its roots. Maybe you never would have gotten to sex or experienced her cooking skills if the particular girl had a small feature that you couldn’t approve of.

Maybe all of your ex-girlfriends had a common trait? Think about it…

Something very miniscule might be your deal-breaker.

My co-worker said she can’t deal with guys who wear black shoes with black soles.

It may not make sense to use, but it does to that person…and that’s all that matters right?

Culture

These answers are clearly an interesting view into the person’s culture and societal principles. This is why many Japanese men expect women to be great cooks and look like innocent looking, white-skinned virgins.

Women are still catering to these ideals but times are changing. There is an entire generation of young, blonde-haired, dark-skinned girls who took western culture a little too far…or didn’t take culture into consideration at all and wanted to be different by looking like pandas.

Either way, the answers may surprise you and if anything at all, may give you a glimpse into what kind of people you hang out with or what kind of culture you live in. Try it out!

They DID say they wanted to be different...

Pandas ARE Asian...