This article might sound like a rant…because it is. After hearing and reading about all of these new policies around the world that are aimed at “Protecting” our youth, I can’t help but worry that we are breeding mentally weak children. We see so many “physical specimen freaks of nature” but we also see those big hunks of potential go down in flames because of mental weakness or primadonna personalities.
Sometimes the past is the past, but in times like these, we need to revert to some old school tactics.

“Global Babying” is a phenomenon that is infecting our earth. Its can also be interpreted as what George Carlin likes to call, “The P*&^ification” of our beloved youth.
From the time we are born, we are subject to all kinds of hardships and challenges. In school we encounter bullying, tough teachers and the occasional pants soiling. On many occasions the phrase “Life isn’t fair” is pounded into our brains to the point where we are resigned to the fact that we can only keep moving forward when something unjust happens to us. This is a good thing.
The world is now keeping our children “safe” by rebuilding parks without jungle gyms, monkey bars and slides. “Safety” is diluting childhood experiences. Most people can say they’ve done something extraordinarily stupid when they were little, and as a result, got in trouble or almost seriously injured themselves. Now if a kid falls on pavement and cuts his knee, the school board might vote on renovating all campus grounds to Field Turf (Grass Turf). How far will “protecting” our youth go?
Your dad or big brother may dominate you in basketball and back you down knowing you got nothing on him in the paint, you do your best to stop him but you can’t. You get angry, you cry and moan. Isn’t this what we all have to go through? We all look back at these memories and laugh about them later on in life anyways. These lessons are designed to show you how far you have to go to be competitive.
When I was playing Pop Warner football, there was a game where I missed almost all the tackles I attempted. My dad didn’t see them as “attempts”, he saw a kid that was scared to hit somebody. On the ride home, my dad didn’t say a word to me. As soon as we entered the drive-way, he told me to put my pads on.
We walked into my yard.
I stood there, full equipment and uniform waiting for what was going to happen next. My dad cradled the ball and looked at me.
“Tackle me, and don’t hold back. You can’t be scared to hit somebody.”
He started jogging lightly to the side while I was still in shock from his request. I had my helmet and shoulder pads on…what if I hurt him? Well that was the point.
So over and over again my dad would carry the ball and make me tackle him. With tears running down my eyes, I kept sticking my helmet, full-throttle, into his shoulder, arm and thighs.
By the end of the session, my dad is limping and I’m exhausted.
This episode is nothing compared to some parents. If you read Ichiro’s book, you’ll realize what “tough love” really is. But the point is, episodes like this were what taught me those valuable life lessons, one of which is not to accept mediocrity.
According to some new policies enacted around America, the interaction with my dad may have gone like this:
“Its okay buddy, you missed all your tackles but you had really nice form, just go get em’ next time!”
Sure, positive reinforcement may be very important to a child in certain situations but kids also need to feel like garbage, meaning they need to look at themselves and realize, “Man…I suck. I need to get better.”
This evokes resiliency, the most important trait a human can have. When you know you can get back up and keep working at something, you will not fear failure.
Unfortunately, fearing failure is exactly what is being taught to our youth.
Everybody Wins!
I just turned 24 in March and I’ve competitively played any sport I could get my hands on since I could walk.
This is why reading about the Ottawa Kids Soccer League made me lose faith in our country even more:
“A team that wins a soccer game by more than five goals will be declared the loser in an Ottawa children’s recreational soccer league.”
“The league recommends that players on the team with the higher score can play short-handed, kick with their weaker foot or play positions that they have less experience playing to even out the score.”
Read more: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/ottawa/story/2010/05/31/ottawa-gloucester-dragons-soccer-point.html#ixzz0qDoDMFq1
After reading this, I realized that I can finally use the phrase “Back when I played ball…(explain hardship/unfair scenario/weather conditions)” without sounding like an idiot.
We are starting to get into dangerous territory here. Since I was a young kid, I had gotten my share of “participatory trophies.” You know, the hardware you get for paying the money to participate!
I have a few “participatory trophies” and a bunch of hard-earned ones as well. The trophies I’ve earned hold much more weight in my personal legacy than the free trophies. Why? Because I earned them with blood, sweat and tears. They actually mean something.
Slaughter rule anybody?
I have been on both sides of the competitive spectrum. The big winner and the even bigger loser.
Having played football my whole life, I have been a part of some powerful teams. My high school varsity football team almost went undefeated during the regular season and we went to the state quarterfinals.
College was a different story. As is written on my blog, I got a scholarship to play football in Japan at an up and coming University. As a Division II team, we dominated. Winning games by scores like 72-0. When we bumped up to Division I, it was a different(hilarious) story.
Against the reigning college champion, Hosei University, we lost 124-0. If there needed to be a slaughter rule, it was during this game.
Now this would be HUGE news in the states. Coaches demanding the necks of the opposing coach, reprimands from the University…an outrage against a program with no class!
The Japanese didn’t blink an eye.
In fact, people thought it was hilarious.
No Mercy in Japan
Again we come to a cultural crossroads.
In the states, sportsmanship entails respect and integrity. In other words, not humiliating the opposing team and their coach.
In Japan, you are showing disrespect to the other team and coach by HOLDING BACK. On a few occasions, our team was used as practice dummies for the no-huddle offense of the other team…during the 2nd quarter!
This is what American parents and officials need to instill into their youth, if you feel disrespected, DON’T LET THEM SCORE!
You know what I felt when we got blown out?
This is humiliating…never again.
A few games later, we got blown out 113-7. As ridiculous as this sounds, there was an improvement there.
Wouldn’t you feel worse if a team was up a few scores on you and was forced to just go through the motions and let you back in the game?!?! Or if it was soccer, the other team just passes back and forth so you can’t do anything. If anything, THIS may be a lack of sportsmanship.
Cultures Collide
I had the pleasure of being part of the staff for the Under 19 U.S.A. National Team vs. Japan National Team Football Game.
To be fair, U.S.A. had certain regulations required for participation. You needed a certain GPA and a pretty large sum of money to make the trip overseas. This severely limited the U.S.A. roster as you would imagine.
Japan had no such policies to abide by so the best of the best were in action.
The game was back and forth for a while until Japan started pulling away late in the second half.
Up by 2 scores, Japan was in a comfortable position to run out the clock and win.
But that is not what Japanese culture advocates.
Japan proceeded to pass the ball and actually work to putting more points on the board.
To this, the U.S.A. coaches were furious. The sidelines were now filled with frustration and expletives. I didn’t blame them, they knew nothing about competitive culture in Japan. They had always been taught that showing mercy after a certain extent, displayed sportsmanship.
In reality, Japan was showing their own version of sportsmanship by showing no mercy.
This is nothing more than a culture clash. Both sides, essentially, were doing what is deemed “correct”. Had the result been the opposite, Japan may have been upset with U.S.A. for showing them up by not going all out.
This was fascinating to me.
Mercy is hard to define. If I’m playing basketball in the backyard against middle-schoolers, then yes I will show some mercy.
But when the other team is trying to kill me and I’m trying to kill them, there is no room for mercy. Nobody is happy when somebody is letting you win, therefore, you shouldn’t be happy that a team is “taking it easy” on you. Both have different results, but both should evoke the same emotion: I feel humiliated.
Here’s an idea: LET THE KIDS PLAY.
Parents are way too involved in their kids sport as it is, if the ref makes a bad call against your kid, yes you have a right to be annoyed and lightly protest. But for those fathers who run on to the field to confront a coach or ref…shut up and sit-down! The result will not change and your son will feel humiliated by YOU.
Children need the skills to problem solve on their own and make decisions. Sports provide various situations to do so without parental help. If you want to help or comfort, do it AFTER the game. Your kids will thank you later.
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